The Hep V-infected vampires were out of control in the season premiere of HBO's True Blood, and have set up the gang for a pretty epic battle leading up to the final episodes of the series.
The show set the tone â€" and perhaps previewed the carnage to come â€" in the opening scene of the episode. A human-vampire mixer went completely haywire after an attack from the zombie vamps that claimed the lives of several people â€" and Tara.
At least, that's what we were led to believe. Something about an off-screen death for Tara â€" a longtime, beloved character â€" doesn't seem right. But time will tell. Until then, we speculate.
Speaking of wild theories, after the premiere, which explored some of the new pairings introduced after last season's six-month time jump and planted some interesting character seeds, we started pondering the inevitable end and began to wonder: If this premiere is any indication, exactly where could True Blood be heading? We invite you to hop aboard the speculation train below as we cook up five probably-not-going-to-happen endings, based on the premiere.
Alcide and Sookie live happily ever after with a litter of wolf babies.
Alcide takes a call in the season premiere of "True Blood."
Why is this theory so far-fetched? Well, frankly, Sookie just doesn't seem as into it as Alcide does. Yes, their makeup sex in the premiere was hotter than a Louisiana summer, but did you catch that look she gave Bill in the preview for the next few episodes? That's not a platonic hello. One part of this theory we hope comes true? Some happiness for Alcide, who's just a cuddly beast of a man. Whatever, Sookie, your loss will be the women of Bon Temp's gain.
Sam becomes the first shapeshifter president.
Someone from outside the core group found out Sam's secret in the "True Blood" season premiere.
In the premiere, Sam's former opponent in the mayors race found out that Sam is a shapeshifter, and we have a feeling secret keeping is not on his ex-rival's agenda. But regardless of how much trouble the initial reveal brings upon Sam, we see him rising above the hardship and rallying people to accept his kind. Also, it would be very True Blood-ish for the series to end with a completely implausible scenario like Sam becoming POTUS. (He has no qualifications.)
Jason and Andy save everyone.
Jason and Andy work the case of the missing townspeople in the season premiere of "True Blood."
While it's certainly more likely that Jason and Andy won't live to the end of the series â€" c'mon, you know it's true â€" wouldn't it be awesome if the hapless pair pulled out a last-minute save that forever secured them hero status? Andy certainly deserves it after losing so much throughout the course of the series.
Bill and Sookie die.
Old-school Bill and Sookie, circa Season 1 of "True Blood."
On one hand, this ending would suck. On the other, there's something admirable about a series that ends an epic run with the definitive death of its two main characters, leaving no hope for a bad movie follow-up.
Pam has a three-way with the devil.
Pam delivers an epic stare down in an episode of "True Blood."
Actually, this one has a pretty good chance of actually happening.
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